In my post, "What My Parents Taught Me About Money" I give an example of how the messaging I received from my parents informed most of my financial and business decisions for years, totally without my consciously realizing it. So despite my very logical voice inside my head telling me to take my annual bonus and invest it or save it, my mother's voice was telling me that it was impossible to keep to a budget anyway, so go ahead and treat my family to something fun. And when it came time to invest in something for my business, even though I knew in my heart this was a good idea, I could still here my father reminding me that money doesn't grow on trees and I shouldn't be so frivolous with my spending. It wasn't until I did some deep soul-searching that I discovered where my thoughts were actually originating from and was able to overcome them.
Parents may not be the only source of our inner values, although they can be the main drivers. We can also be influenced by friends and peers (how about keeping up with the Joneses), teachers, coaches, mentors, religious beliefs (have you been taught you must tithe, meaning give 10% of your earnings to the church, no matter what?), and even the media (how many of you panicked during the pandemic when your 401K lost money?).
Every time you make a decision, you tap into your values in search of the choice that will move you away from frustration, fear or discomfort and toward peace and calm. Every time you make a decision, you look for the option that will make you most comfortable. Whether you know it or not, you sometimes choose options that are not good for you because they are easier and cause less stress in the moment. How many times have any of us acquiesced to our spouse's desires just to avoid an argument? Even when we knew it was not the best decision?
The definition of insanity is doing the same thing repeatedly and expecting a different result. You are here because what you have been doing until now has not brought you the financial security you desire. If order to see different results, you will have to make different decisions. And now that you know that your decisions may not actually be fully your own, you can learn to stop and actually think about what YOU want instead of what your mom, dad, and so on, may have taught you that you want.
So yes...sometimes you might really want to buy those expensive leather boots, or the big gas-guzzling car, or the home with the pool instead of making more economical choices. And that's okay! As long as you can still meet your financial goals, it's okay to splurge every once in a while. And yes, it's okay to sacrifice to meet long-term financial goals, as long as you remember to have a little fun once in a while.
I invite all of you to read my post What My Parents Taught Me About Money. Then do some serious soul searching to see if your childhood experiences impact your financial decisions. Then look at what other forces influence your thought process. This is the first step to changing your behavior. It doesn't mean you won't ever make less than perfect decisions. But it does mean you will at least know WHY!
